While many families interpret "spare the rod, spoil the child" literally, a family psychologist said there's something they need to know.
John Rosemond is a family psychologist, author, and public speaker. He's the founder of ParentGuru, a platform to help parents raise their children to be responsible adults.
He tells AFN he has a different view from what is probably the majority on this. 
"Well, my thoughts are probably surprising for many people in the Christian community. Unlike the consensus, I don't believe that the Bible, God, is mandating or instructing parents to spank when their children misbehave,” Rosemond said.
He said he's discussed this with many pastors and theologians--and most of them agree after hearing his explanation.
He said if you do a proper critical study of the verses that contain the phrase 'the rod of discipline," and you use the rule of scripture interprets scripture, then you can see what he believes is a metaphor.
“You arrive at the conclusion that what parents are being told is to exercise a godly authority, a firm, unwavering, godly authority, when it comes to the discipline of their children. 'The rod of discipline' is being used metaphorically. 'A’ rod is a literal object. 'The' rod is a metaphor for parents, to use a new-age phrase for parents, 'channeling' God when they discipline their kids."
For example, he said there is a scripture that references the rod of God's mouth. A quick search showed that to be Isaiah 11:4, in which the Messiah is described as ruling over the earth with "the rod of his mouth."
"I ran into a couple of parents like that the other day. They were telling me that because of what they understood scripture to be and what their pastor told them, they were spanking every single time their child misbehaved. And they said it was having no effect. And I said, right, your child has, habituated is the term, to being spanked. It's meaningless at this point because that's all you're doing. And that's not what God is telling parents. It's very unfortunate that's become the normative explanation from the pulpit."
So what are some effective other means to discipline?
Well, for school, Rosemond said there should be good communication between schoolteachers and parents.
“And on days when the child exhibits those problem behaviors, you confine him to his room when he gets home, and you put him to bed immediately after dinner." 
Rosemond said he's been recommending just that simple response to parents for years.
“Ninety-five percent of the time, which is about as good as you get when it comes to disciplining, the use of any particular method. Ninety-five percent of the time, they come back and say ‘Yes, that took care of it, John. He doesn't like being confined to his room, and he likes even less being put to bed early.’"
Rosemond’s recommendation for greater communication between children and teachers comes at a time that many school districts are debating whether teachers should let parents know when their child expresses gender questions.
In July, California became the first state to ban school rules requiring parents to be notified by schools if their child asks to be treated in ways different from the biological sex.
Another thing Rosemond said is stop talking to kids about how they feel.
“Foolishness is bound in the heart of the child. The child is driven by emotion. You don't talk to him about his feelings. You don't give him the impression that his feelings justify some antisocial behavior."
