It may seem that way. The confidence, the polished speech, the clarity of message and passion all make it appear second nature.
She assures that’s not the case.
Now a young adult and recent mother, Gaines, in days gone by an all-American swimmer at the University of Kentucky, never saw herself staring into lights before thousands of people who had paid to hear her story.
“My public speaking courses in college, my face would turn the color of a tomato. By no means did I feel prepared for this,” she told attendees at the Extraordinary Women conference in Tupelo, Miss., Saturday.
But that’s the point, one of the main takeaways from her address.
“I was just really, really wrong in assuming that that's how God works, how he operates. The reality is quite the contrary. That he doesn't call those who he's prepared. He prepares those who he calls.”
And he calls everyone, Gaines told the ladies.
While it’s not the path she envisioned, Gaines also didn’t envision the heartache she would endure en route to becoming a nationally recognized symbol for the fight for privacy rights in women’s sports.
That battle was won in 1972, right? The core tenet of Title IX, the landmark equal rights legislation, is that no school or educational program that receives federal funding can discriminate on the basis of sex.
Women’s athletics on the high school and college level exploded with opportunities.
For Gaines, it was swimming. Hours of sacrifice, pushing herself to her greatest heights. Then came the 200 freestyle at the NCAA women’s championship meet in 2022. Gaines was among the best in the pool, but there was only trophy for fifth place.
The NCAA gave it to the man Gaines tied with, William Thomas with the University of Pennsylvania.
Not about the trophy
For many women’s athletes the fight isn’t only about competition but about the forced humiliation of sharing private spaces.
“Again, (Thomas was) 6-foot-4 (and) taking off his women's swimsuit, fully naked, fully intact and fully exposing himself, inches away from where you were simultaneously fully undressed. It’s awkward, it's embarrassing, it's uncomfortable. I remember feeling entirely betrayed by an institution that I loved, that I trusted, that I believed had my best interests at heart,” Gaines said.
Somewhere inside something clicked.
Gaines longed for a protector, for someone from her school, her conference or the NCAA, anyone to step and repeat what she already knew … that she was right.
No one came to stand by her side. Instead, they counseled her later, encouraged her not to keep beating this drum, threatened her with loss of her swimming scholarship and sent to sensitivity training.
There was no trophy, no recognition that a biological male did not belong in the women’s race.
Had there been, Gaines’ adult life may have turned out differently, more peaceful and void of conflict.
“I'm ashamed to say, had it ended right there, had that been the end of it all, I don't think that would have been enough for me to lend my voice or my experience to back girls like me. Call it cowardice. I just didn't really believe it was my problem to be totally honest with you. I was of the mindset that someone else would do something.”
Since that time Gaines has become a prominent advocate for women’s rights, a critic of the faux inclusivity guilt trip that says biological males have a place on the women’s side.
She says the cultural gender fight is Satan pausing to gather himself and return with another plan.
“He repackages, Satan. He changes the terminology. Drunkenness is just a woman taking the edge off after a long, hard day. Living together before marriage, that’s just taking the car out for a test drive, right? Renaming things like abortion, that’s just reproductive rights, your health, your freedom. Don’t you love freedom and autonomy?”
Words like compassion, empathy and inclusion are wonderful things, Godly things. They’re who women are, “the things that make us such good friends, mothers, sisters and wives,” she said.
But Satan has claimed these emotions as his tools.
“Don’t be gaslit into believing it’s compassionate to ask your daughter to undress in front of grown men,” Gaines said.
Now Gaines is here, in the fight, a chief spokesperson.
Last July the University of Pennsylvania issued a public statement and an update of its swimming records based on the Trump administration’s interpretation of Title IX. The school had its funding cut four months earlier.
The story continues
Because she refused to be gaslit, Gaines’ story continues.
Saturday, she encouraged attendees to lean into their faith and remain courageous.
“Every life includes hardship. But the promise remains the same. It's that God is with us, and that's something our generation, my generation, desperately needs to hear.”
Then she called the ladies to action.
“We were not saved to be silent. We were saved to serve, and what does that look like? It might look different for each of us, but I certainly know that our purpose is the same, and that's to glorify him,” Gaines said.
